Life cycle events
The moments that matter, held by a community
Naming a baby, calling a thirteen year old to the Torah, standing under a chuppah, burying a parent. These are the days a congregation exists for, and Rabbi Gross walks through them with you.
If there has been a death in your family
Call the synagogue and ask for the rabbi. Outside office hours the same number reaches someone who can help. We will work with you on the funeral home, the timing, the burial and everything that follows, and we will start today. You do not need to have anything prepared before you call.
Life cycle
Four moments, one community
Age 13
B’nai mitzvahBecoming bar or bat mitzvah: the preparation, the service itself, and the celebration after.
Marriage
WeddingsPlanning a Jewish wedding at HCRJ or elsewhere, and meeting with the rabbi well before the date.
New arrivals
Baby namings and britWelcoming a child into the covenant and giving them a Hebrew name, in the sanctuary or at home.
In a time of loss
Funerals and mourningWe are here to support you. Grief is not something this congregation expects you to carry by yourself.
B’nai mitzvah
Calling a young person to the Torah
Preparation begins years before the date, in religious school, and narrows in the final year to one on one tutoring in the prayers and the Torah portion. By the morning itself the student knows the service better than most of the room.
The service is a regular Shabbat morning service that the congregation is invited to, not a private booking. That is deliberate. A bar or bat mitzvah is the community calling a young person up, so the community should be there.
Family who cannot travel can watch on the livestream, which needs no login and no password, and the recording stays available afterward.
a teen reading torah
Weddings and welcoming a child
Beginnings, marked properly
Both start the same way: a phone call, and then a conversation with the rabbi.
Weddings
Marrying at HCRJ, or with our rabbi elsewhere
Rabbi Gross meets with every couple well before the date, more than once, and those conversations are as much about the marriage as the ceremony. Couples of every configuration are welcome to start the conversation, and it will be an honest and early one. Our sanctuary and social hall are both available, and the office can walk you through dates, fees and what is included.
Baby namings and brit
Welcoming a child into the covenant
A baby naming can happen in the sanctuary on a Friday evening, with the whole congregation present, or quietly at home with only the people you want there. Rabbi Gross will help you choose a Hebrew name and will work alongside a mohel for a brit milah. There is no rush and no single right way to do it.
Funerals and mourning
What happens, and in what order
Jewish funerals happen quickly, usually within a day or two, which is a mercy once you are inside it but a shock if you have never done it before. Call us first and we will help you work with the funeral home, set a time, and decide what the service should hold.
After the burial comes shiva, the week when the household stays home and the community comes to them. Our Mitzvah and Caring Community organises the meals, the minyan and the practical help, so you do not have to ask twice.
Then the longer rhythm: the Mourner’s Kaddish said at services, shloshim at thirty days, and the yahrzeit each year, for which the office sends a reminder and reads the name aloud on the Shabbat nearest the date.
a yahrzeit candle
Membership and life cycle events
Having the rabbi with you at these moments is one of the things membership provides, along with religious school enrolment and High Holy Day services. If you are not a member and something has happened, call us anyway. We will work it out, and that conversation can wait until afterward.
Questions
What families ask us
Do we have to be members?
For a planned event such as a wedding or a b’nai mitzvah, these are among the things membership provides, and most families join well before the date. In an emergency, call first and we will sort the rest out afterward.
How far ahead should we call about a b’nai mitzvah?
Dates are usually set two to three years out, because the calendar fills and the preparation is real. If your child is in religious school, Betti Buck will raise it with you at the right moment.
Can family watch from out of town?
Yes. Services in the sanctuary are streamed live and stay available afterward, with no login and no membership needed to watch.
What does it cost?
Facility and staff fees vary by event and by what you need. The office will give you a clear figure up front, and as with membership, cost should never be the reason a family cannot mark one of these days.
Start with a conversation.
Whether the date is three years away or this week, the first step is the same. Call the office, or write to us, and we will put you in touch with Rabbi Gross.